The very word "secrecy" is repugnant...
...in a free and open society.
All I have I would have given gladly not to be standing here today.
- Opposed to secret societies.
When the president does it, that means it is not illegal.
The world will not be the same for our children...
If you have not chosen me by secret ballot...
We believe that freedom...
I thank you for the wonderful things that you have done for America.
Never before has our nation enjoyed so much prosperity and progress...
- beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world...
...and no one will keep that light from shining.
Barack Obama took the railroad from Philadelphia to Washington...
...and it's not just the folks along the way who are cheering him on.
A CBS News poll out this evening says 79 percent of Americans...
...are optimistic about his administration.
That's the highest for any modern president.
I'm sorry about being late. I had to sneak out of my other job.
I understand. Now...
...do you like working with a team or independently?
Well, either way. I mean, I would...
...call myself an individualistic team player.
A self-sufficient people person.
I mean, I love all races, creeds, lifestyles.
I love gay people. Not to imply you're a lesbian.
Unless you are. In which case, I'm totally supportive.
I support your rights. I support anybody's rights. I mean...
What was the question?
If you realised the government of the people was not by the people...
...or even really for the people, how would you respond?
Oh, boy.
Well, I guess I'd be disappointed, maybe.
But given the overall context, I'd understand.
If you had the ability to remove certain genetic predispositions...
...such as the God gene...
...from every person living in a country...
...with a history of religious and sectarian violence...
...would you?
How would you do that?
Hypothetically speaking?
Through bottled water, tainted pharmaceuticals...
...and covert foreign-aid workers.
Really? That's possible?
We'll come back to that one.
If you were forced with the decision to kill a loved one...
...for the greater good of mankind, would you?
All right. Would I kill a loved one...?
Excuse me. Are you...?
- Are you bleeding? - Am I what?
Oh, shit. Shoot. No. Excuse my French.
No. No, it's not blood.
That's not blood?
It's just the way the shirt's made, you know?
It's like the jeans with the holes. Same sort of concept.
Just one quick question.
If I get this job, do I get to pick my own code name?
Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here? All the other tables are full.
No, go right ahead.
I wish it was Sunday.
How do I know for sure you are who I think you are?
Well, for one, we were just speaking in code...
...and two...
...I currently have a Para Carry 9 mm pointed squarely at your crotch.
I'm High Priestess. Nice to meet you.
Well, well, well.
Meet Chariot, your new boss.
Are all you guys named after tarot cards?
Yeah. Dumb fucking idea if you ask me.
It's not that bad.
Jesus. Great.
One more goofy fuck, that's all we need.
- So you're a master thief? - I wouldn't say master thief...
Tried to read your file. It bored me. Like Thomas Crown without the pussy.
Where'd you steal that suit?
The fuck is wrong with you?
Don't even answer that.
Got a kidney stone passing through me.
I don't wanna have to murder you on your first day.
Okay, so do I get to pick a tarot card now?
- The Fool. - The Fool?
I was under the impression we could choose our own code names.
- So am I replacing somebody or...? - Strength.
Yeah. Apparently wasn't strong enough.
And God created Alpha and Omega.
As of this moment, you're hired by the Factory...
...an espionage cell unacknowledged by the U.S. Government...
...staffed by unofficial covert operatives.
The company was created in 1962 by the DOD and JCS...
...for the purpose of false-flag operations.
In 1967, LBJ implemented the two-team system...
...AIpha and Omega. - For what reason?
To balance the power.
If it weren't for Omega...
- Which is who? - Us.
- The Middle East would be a cloud of dust now.
Isn't the Middle East already a cloud of dust?
- He meant literally. - Well, what does Alpha do?
You know, the usual.
Some president wants to talk shit about the military-industrial complex...
...wants to stop spending $600 billion on a war with no fucking end...
...well, whether it be 1963 or now, you know, they intervene.
That's the least of it.
And what about us, Omega?
We try to stop them from bringing forth the apocalypse.
What's the need for it? Don't you just negate each other?
Sweet nothing. The black heart of our democracy.
So does anyone oversee the two teams?
- The Devil. - The who?
The Devil.
It's not as ominous as it sounds.
He's a portly bastard with manicured nails.
No real field experience.
The razor-sharp wit of a 6-year-old autistic boy.
He's called the Devil because, you know...
...it's spooky.
Company policy. Boss is afraid one of us is gonna kill him.
Though I could just as easily snap his neck as shoot him.
It's all for show.
Plus it looks really cool when we unload our weapons.
Oh, come on. Fucking...
Who works the Monday shift? Is it Neal?
It's Neal, isn't it? That fucking...
I once waited here for 20 minutes.
Oh, come on, people! Let's go! Open the door, fuckhead!
Here we go.
Oh, you fucking retard! Open the door!
Open the fucking door right now!
Who is that? Get down here!
Get down here, because I wanna see your handicapped fucking face...
...in front of mine while I gut you like a fucking piglet!
So get down here...
Chariot is so drunk he doesn't know it's Tuesday.
Are you gonna let him in?
Let him wait. It's my favourite time of the day.
I'm gonna eat your fucking heart, and your brain, and your...
I'm gonna fucking rape your soul!
You have to admit, he's pretty good at those insults.
He's an asshole.
I used one the other day on my ex-wife.
What'd you say to her?
I told her... Remember when he said that he was gonna peel your skin off...
...and dry it in the sun and use it as a condom and fuck your mother?
- You said that to your ex-wife? - Well, I was... I was mad.
Watch out. She's gonna end up keeping Bobby all the time.
Should we let him in?
I guess.
I hope you die of testicular cancer! You fucking mongoloid!
Open the... Oh, thank you. Never mind.
You do this every morning?
No. No, I drink as much as I do because every day is Christmas.
So, what happens if that door malfunctions?
How do we get out?
You don't.
Shut the door, bitch. You live in a barn?
Rude.
- You wanna do the introductions? - No.
My fucking feet hurt.
Great, I'll do it. Thank you. I'll keep talking.
Before heading Omega Team, Emperor spent 30 years in the field.
See that Cro-Magnon fuck right there?
That's Judgement. He deals with IT and demolitions.
Real piece of work.
Rest of his energy spent saying shit like, "It's Judgement time, baby."
But he can take down a 747 using only his iPhone.
Basically, he's like a black MacGyver but without the fancy mullet.
Hey, where the fuck is Alpha team?
Shit, man, something's up.
Empress walked in, skirt wrapped up her hips like a motherfucking ligature.
Now the last time she donned an outfit so damn libidinous...
...was the day they whacked Benazir Bhutto.
Who's Empress?
Who the fuck are you?
L... l... I, well...
You're as smooth as a three-month-old bikini wax.
Yeah, he is just... He's endearingly retarded.
I love you.
Alpha team.
That's Magician. Alpha's econo-terrorist.
The Third World's still the Third World because of that asshole.
CD of Alpha Team. Occupies my slot on the other side.
His work in Florida in 2000 put him on the map.
The queen of spades.
That's Tower.
Youngest recruit, straight out of college.
No-sock, loafer-wearing, Georgetown-educated Republican.
Most likely still a virgin. Not a fan of Osama.
Hierophant, conceived in the bowels of a mega-church laboratory.
Giggly, cute.
Fucking nut. Watch out.
Very dramatic. Watch this.
That was for us. She knows we're watching.
All right, everybody's back from Virginia and accounted for.
Check it out. It's all over the news.
Government authorities have no comment...
...about the warehouse fire that killed three civilians...
...and an unidentified man whose name has not been released.
Apparently that's where the Cheney Death Squad files are kept.
Yeah, I told you that.
- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did.
- When? - Like two weeks ago.
- Into the adjacent parking lot.
Authorities confirmed the cause of the fire was an explosion...
...that occurred because of a gas leak.
Gas leak, right.
The warehouse, dubbed a safe house by the Department of Defence...
...was a storage facility for government documents reaching back 50 years.
Look, Empress, we all know Project Safe House was messy.
Messy? You think it was messy?
I talked to Emperor, I talked to Chariot.
- What can I say? - Nothing.
You look good with your mouth closed.
Come on.
Let me tell you something.
We, I...
...this entire fucking office can smell pussy right where pussy sits.
Glad to see menopause hasn't affected your mood.
Yeah, and I don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore either.
Yeah, what?
Look at you, you vixen.
What, are you entering a slut contest?
Why don't you find a nice little bathroom stall to go fuck yourself in?
All right, all right. Language, please. Who's this?
- Is this the new addition to Omega? - Yeah.
Well. What was wrong with the redhead?
I mean, she was nice. She was tall, stately, affable.
Oh, yeah. She was nice.
Way to welcome the new boy.
I was gonna let the walls of your vagina do that.
What's that smell? Shit yourself again?
Come on. Come on.
I'm wearing a diaper.
Oh, Jesus Christ. You fucking reek.
- Yeah. This 50-year-old firecracker... - Forty-nine.
- Forty-nine-year-old firecracker is... - Well, I am 49.
I get it, okay?
This is the Empress.
Most notorious agent 1980s America never knew anything about.
Currently the exec of Alpha team.
Well, be a gentleman. Introduce yourself. Come on.
- The Fool. - Charmed, I'm sure.
And the Devil.
Pleasure to meet you too, sir. I'm sorry about the redhead.
No need to worry. We'll just... We'll get you a little wig anyway.
Come over here. I wanna show you something.
Now this, my friend, was a... Well, it's a rather rare item.
It was awarded to me for a little job I did in Prague couple decades back.
Oversaw. Sir, a job you oversaw.
Oversaw. Semantics. You know, this is just semantics.
I mean, I just prefer that my accomplishments...
...resonate in a more tangible...
Something's not right. The Devil's acting weird even for him.
I know.
I heard he has a thing for phone sex.
He's been calling 1-900 numbers on Uncle Sam's dime?
- No, it's someone he knows. - What?
Well, I accidentally overheard a call.
- Carl. - I know. I know.
I wonder who it is. She sounds Slovakian.
So I keep that as a reminder of my 12 co-workers.
Oh, and as a little reminder of teamwork.
What are you laughing at? What did I just say?
- Teamwork, sir. - You see, no one questioned authority.
Hey, Carl, look.
No one questioned the decisions of management.
Each one of us did our job because to do otherwise...
What are you doing, old man?
Is that thing loaded?
Oh, this fucking nut bag.
He is just out of his mind.
Well, it's a good thing that this baby hasn't been fired in 100 years.
Otherwise, my brains would just be on the carpet.
- Yes? - Sorry to bother, I just...
...was...
Do you find sometimes a pregnant pause just says it all?
Yes, sir. The tension's palpable.
I'm hot.
Yes? Yes? Do you care to fill us in?
- Me and... - Temperance.
Temperance. We...
- Trained together. - Right.
Oh, I love to train.
- A couple years ago. - Right. Couple years ago.
Well, let's hope that fluorescent lighting will rekindle your romance.
But we have a briefing in 30 minutes. 10: 10. Leave.
- What the fuck are you doing? - Hey! We'll talk.
- You gonna order out today, or...? - Did you just vomit in your mouth?
Man, Temperance is hot to trot, my man.
She's built like a fucking thoroughbred.
Body is a well-oiled machine.
I want the details, dude. All the fucking details.
It's nothing. We dated, we broke up.
Dude, I don't give a shit about your relationship...
...I wanna know what she's like in bed.
What do her insides feel like? Tell me.
All right, look, let's just leave it, okay?
- Okay. - What does she do here anyway?
Seduction, mostly.
She gathers a little intel after the deed is done...
...but mostly she just fucks dudes.
All right, well, which...? Who? Which ones? I mean, like...?
Oh, my God.
You ever heard of Bill Clinton?
- You're kidding me. - Fucked that guy.
Vladimir Putin?
Put it in her bum. That's what I hear.
- She fucked Putin? - That's what I heard.
She wasn't working, she just did that.
Okay. All right.
- Ever heard of the Dalai Lama? - Yeah.
Relax, dude. She's fucked a lot of old dudes in the ass.
- Everywhere. Mouth. - Okay, all right. Now leave it alone.
- Face. - Okay. All right. Leave it.
Voilą.
That's French.
Mine's smaller than everyone else's and there's a column in the middle.
Yeah, well, it's because it's your first day.
And you're a fucking loser.
Who the hell is this guy?
His background data file is corrupted. I can't open it.
Call Susan in Human Resources. Have her send a guy with a hard copy.
- You call Susan. - You call her.
- You call her. You call her. - You call her.
- Be a man and call her. - I think you're afraid.
- I think you're afraid of her too. - Well, no shit. She freaks me out.
I'll call her.
Thank you, Neal.
Empress is planning something.
She's been talking to Corporate.
What does that even mean?
I just don't trust her.
Safe House went south, Corporate's livid.
Safe House wasn't our fault.
The outside hire screwed it and we're not to blame.
I say we watch her and we watch Alpha team.
I got a bad feeling about this.
You sure that's not just the DTs talking?
I'm still drunk, so it can't be the DTs.
There you go, you corrected me.
Excuse me, Tower?
Do you know where the...? The meeting is today?
Your bewilderment level is here.
Should come down to there.
Cool?
- Putin? - What?
- What are you saying? - You slept with Putin?
Really? Is this who you've become?
Go to hell.
Really? I thought I knew you.
We don't exactly work at Wal-Mart. Deception comes with the territory.
Plus, what do you think you're doing here?
- What am l...? - Is this your plan?
Is this some kind of sick plot?
No. No.
I thank President Bush for his service to our nation...
...and the generosity and cooperation...
Goddamn it. Now the entire surveillance system has a bug.
We're gonna crash.
Just reboot the system.
- Are your legs broken? - No. Come on. I'll do it.
- I'll do it. I'll be happy to do it. - Okay. Well, chop-chop.
Pray we didn't lose anything on the hard drive.
Are you blaming this on me?
No, I'm just saying I hope we didn't lose anything.
I hope we didn't lose anything either.
Well, good, Neal. Then we're all in agreement.
Yeah, come in.
What do you want?
I knew it would be you.
All right. It's half up. Jesus, why is it so slow?
He's good, he's good. But that black-haired girl...
...when she sang that Captain & Tennille song...
...I was floored. I just had to vote for her.
You vote?
Every single fricking time. I love that show.
I love it too. I like that guy, Rique.
Now, Rique, he's good.
I would've voted for him. I'd give him a 10...
...if I was a judge.
What is wrong with you? Your mother put mercury in your bottle?
Baby, you keep talking to me like that, I'm gonna pound you with my gavel.
The fat part or the skinny part?
Oh, God.
Jesus.
Are we waiting for something to happen here, Chariot?
Finger. Finger. Finger.
Where is the Devil? It's 10: 17 already.
I'll go find him. Be back in two shakes.
The Hermit. We're missing the Hermit.
Back online.
Oh, fuck. Someone crashed the system on purpose.
Does that alarm mean what I think it means?
Project Endgame.
Fuck.
Carl, he's dead.
Well, well, well. And with pencils too.
Nicely sharpened at that.
The fuck happened?
This must be the work of the Hermit.
- Oh, shit. - What?
He activated Project Endgame.
Sorry, what?
Project Endgame is the Factory's be-all-end-all contingency device.
It activates a physical and communicative lockdown...
...before setting a timer that will vaporise this place in two hours.
I guess Judgement Day is upon us.
Oh, my God, we get it. Your name is Judgement.
You know what? I'm gonna drink myself to death.
- Oh, shut the fuck up, Chariot. - Chug my cock.
Why would the bomb be on a timer when nobody can get out?
Well, the man in charge had access to some emergency exits.
That's the rumour anyways.
The timer gave him a chance to collect his things.
- Man, this is bullshit. - Okay.
No movement recorded on the elevators in the last hour.
Oh, my God. That means that the killer is among us.
What about surveillance tapes?
No way to review them here. They go to Corporate.
Who gives a shit? We're gonna die, let's all fuck!
Well, can we disarm it?
- I would assume. - None of us has the code.
- Of course. - What would it be?
How many fucking questions are you gonna ask?
Goddamn it! Can we just deal with the situation?
Thank you, Temperance. We've all seen far worse than this.
Back to the conference room. Today's meeting is a little different.
Do you think we're safe?
Yes, we're safe. We're safe.
We're not down there. I'm glad we're up here.
Sorry, assholes.
Priority one is a sweep of this facility.
We're looking for hollow walls, secret doorways...
...tunnels andlor elevators.
Secondly, we need to find Hermit.
He knew this place better than anyone.
I'm sure he had an escape route.
Who's the Hermit?
Hermit used to do assassinations till he got diabetes. Fat fuck.
He's a good agent though.
Sounds like one of the only people you respect.
No. No, I'm just afraid of him.
I'm gonna find that Gumby-assed bitch and I'm gonna blow his ass up.
Good to hear your enthusiasm, Judgement.
I say we pair up. One Alpha, one Omega.
I agree. We each pair up with our mirror agent on the opposing team.
Keep an eye on each other. Alpha and Omega working together.
Keep in mind the Hermit is an incredibly skilled agent.
If you need a weapon...
...you can commandeer anything you can find in and around the office.
The most powerful weapon is the human soul on fire.
Oh, my God.
Motherfucker, did you just quote Nietzsche?
- Finally! - You know what's happened?
- We've been calling! - The Devil got killed!
They activated Project Endgame!
- Buck up! I was on a phone call. - Buck up?
Shut up! My God, you two.
There's the file on the new recruit, a.k.a. The Fool. He's nobody.
You couldn't get into the mainframe?
No, it wouldn't let us.
That is so odd. Let me try my security code.
- Did you reboot? - Of course.
Look at that.
- Very clever. - What do you mean?
Secret Service changes the security codes today at noon.
Now it doesn't matter.
They'll all burn in a flood of napalm.
Poor psychopaths.
This is about Safe House.
It was Devil's operation. He fucked up. He's fucked up before.
The Factory's never been squeamish about civilian casualties.
However, Corporate has never been fond of loose ends.
And Safe House had plenty of those.
You know, before you opened your mouth...
...I entertained the possibility of fucking you one last time.
It was that fleeting, huh?
It's unfortunate, right?
- It's too bad. - Yeah.
Hey, you remember that night in London when it was raining?
You were wearing high heels and were walking down cobblestone streets...
...and the fog rolled in and we ducked down that alley?
One of us didn't finish.
Yeah, you didn't finish.
No, I think it was...
You killed the Devil, didn't you?
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ, I know they hate each other, but what the fuck?
Can I ask you a question?
You're 5'3"...
...99 and a quarter pounds...
...skin like a porcelain mug full of latte...
...nipples size of baby's fingernails.
What's the question?
You be the judge.
Can I ask you a question?
I'm 9 and a half.
Uncut.
No! I was gonna ask if you believe in heaven and hell and all that stuff.
I'm gonna check these files. You check these bookshelves.
Look for clues as to what the phrase may be.
Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward.
Where the answer is no, programmes will end.
Those of us who manage public dollars will be held to account...
...and do business in the light of day.
Only then can we restore the vital trust between people and their government.
Can you believe this?
Seventy years of government fuckups in one room.
I bet you half of these are from the past eight years.
I don't see why we have to watch a country befall to Communism...
...due to the irresponsibility of its people.
You wonder if you've chosen the right profession?
No.
I mean, I feel like I have some pretty serious skills.
You know, I'm highly organised, I'm motivated.
I'm attractive. I am.
I could be running News Corp right now.
Or I could be a chef, or a sous-chef.
You know, instead, I kill people for a living...
...and, you know, I don't know, I feel...
I feel like I might have made a bad career choice...
...you know what I mean?
Tower?
It's a hollow area. You hear that?
No, my ears are shut.
I'm gonna break through the wall. Let me see that leg.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.
What is happening?
Judgement, I kind of sort of have to confess something to you.
The real reason I asked you about heaven and all that stuff...
...is because I totally knew this time was coming.
And it makes me upset...
...you haven't accepted Christ as your lord and saviour.
Because, I think you're, like, really sweet...
...and I just don't want to think of you...
...melting in Satan's lake of fire for, like, all eternity.
I mean, that's just fucking depressing, you know?
So, like, do you want to take these last couple of seconds...
...to accept Christ as your lord and savior?
What? I can't... I can't...
I can't...
What? I can't...
I can't believe I once applied for his job.
What?
Five years ago, I applied to join Omega.
Were you too crazy?
No, not crazy enough.
On the third interview, they make you kill a puppy.
You mean all those people killed puppies?
I couldn't do it.
I could kill a cat.
Tower?
I was just thinking, remember that time we drove down in Bethany Beach...
...and you wouldn't get on the Ferris wheel.
And I kept begging you and begging you...
...till you screamed so loud those cops showed up on scooters. Remember?
What, are you getting all sentimental?
No, no. I was just thinking about it, that's all.
I guess I was thinking that you're a lot more confident than you used to be.
Maybe I am.
It's a gun? You have a gun?
Firing pin, cartridge, primer and cap.
Bang, bang, cowboy.
That's very funny.
You've grown up too, you know. You lost that stupid grin of yours.
Maybe because I'm looking at you thinking soon none of this will matter.
Yeah? And if you knew for sure that there was no escape...
...how would you spend that last hour?
Honestly?
Honestly.
Bang...
...you're dead.
That's hilarious.
Hey, just out of curiosity, what happened to you?
I mean, when I first got here, you were the shit.
I mean, I wanted to be you.
Now, you know, you're like...
I don't know. You're like borderline homeless?
You're a fucking deadbeat.
Yeah, well, look on the bright side. My poetry's really coming along.
Oh, okay, so everything is just a joke for you, right?
Does that make you feel better?
No.
No, it doesn't.
You know, Chariot, I always wondered...
...who would win a fight between you and me.
I'm gonna take those scissors.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- Gonna throw them down the air duct. - Oh, I can't wait to see that.
Then I'm gonna beat you to death with my bare fucking fists. Yeah.
What's going on with the scissors?
Where are they? Keep your eye on them.
There they are, right there!
It's crunch time.
Sure you don't want to concede?
- You killed the Devil? - I didn't kill him.
So, what's this? Your little baby dick grew some balls?
Just orders, man. Just following orders.
Your subservience will be the death of you.
Hey, check this out.
Why was Devil killed?
Somebody had to take responsibility for Safe House.
Who killed him?
Temperance.
Sneaky little bitch.
Pussy.
Oh, no, hang on. Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, my God.
What happened?
Tower?
- Network that had Devil's employment...
Tower?
Tow...?
Isn't Comm closed?
Might need those, motherfucker. Let's go.
Get him! Get him!
Really?
Get the fuck off.
I'm gonna find a way out of here.
Fuck.
Do you think now that I'm single...
...someone like Temperance would ever date me?
Not unless you pay for it. Listen to this.
Yes, my darling, I want you to fuck me right now.
You are a naughty girl. I'm going to have to spank you.
I told you. That's the Devil having phone sex.
Yeah, but who's the woman?
Spank me, Satan.
You look guilty.
What are you children up to?
Getting everything in order.
Yeah. It... It...
It was out of order...
...and so we're just... We're concentrating on trying to get it...
- Back in order. - Yeah.
Oh, shit! Fuck.
You all right?
- I just... - You okay?
I'm never gonna see her face again.
Who? Who?
Just, she was always there for me.
Hierophant, who? Who was there?
- Penny. Penny. - Who's Penny?
- I just wanted to say goodbye to her. - Who's Penny, Hierophant?
She had the most beautiful yellow eyes you'd ever seen.
You talking about a cat?
Listen to me. I'm from a small town.
My life was not supposed to turn out like this!
This fucking place is gonna blow. We need to find a way out of here.
- We've gotta get out of here! - Listen to me! Listen!
Stay there. Stay there.
Fuck you!
Fuck!
I don't think we've met.
You think that's unworthy of a response?
You're the Hermit?
Okay, I see.
I see. To think I was gonna come shake your hand.
You fucker!
Oh, my God!
Shit. Fuck!
She's fucking dead!
You fucking done? She's fucking dead!
Are you in any way turned on by this?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I know. Me neither.
That is gross.
She's fucking dead! Fuck!
Now I'm done.
You gonna come out from under her?
How the fuck do I know you're not gonna hurt me?
I found something. I need your help.
Unless it's a way out, fuck you, I'm happy here...
- Yeah, well, I think, maybe. - Really?
Oh, fuck.
Get the fuck off me, you fucking bitch.
Explain to me what the fuck is going on!
Keep your voice down, I will kill you.
- Fine, but what is going on? - You never knew when to stop talking.
- Wanna get into it? - No, I don't.
Cassie, listen to me...
Don't fucking call me that.
You have no right to. You don't know me.
- You don't care about me. - Oh, come on, that's...
Let me tell you something.
Every single moment that I ever spent with you is over and done and gone.
It's as if I read it in a dime-store novella...
...because, honestly, it feels like it never happened.
It's just information, nothing more.
Do you fucking understand me?
You're lying. Wanna know how I know?
You never broke eye contact. You wanted me to believe it...
...because if it were true, Cassie, you wouldn't give a fuck.
Never address me by my real name again...
...because I will kill you.
You are still hot.
The fucking Hermit hasn't left the bunker since Election Day.
Have you thought about what happens if we don't get out?
What happens is the bomb explodes.
Well, yeah, obviously.
Then what's your fucking question?
I don't know. God. I don't know, I just...
I can't imagine not waking up tomorrow, you know?
I can.
All right, well, never mind.
Six dead so far. Three from each team.
Jesus.
Chariot, no! Don't, she's on our team!
Drop the weapon! Shut the fuck up!
- She's on our side! - The fuck she is!
I'm not here to kill you!
- She killed the Devil! - Let me explain!
You got about 10 seconds before I put a memo spike in your brain stem.
- It's a little complicated. - Then you better start talking.
Okay. We were called in this morning.
Corporate has spoken.
The Omega team gets eliminated now.
Jesus Christ. This is just my luck on my first fucking day.
There may be a reason why you were called in.
- Like what? - I don't know.
I'm just saying, I somehow doubt this was all just a coincidence.
Wait, so you knew? You knew you had to kill me?
- What? - You fucking heard me.
When we first saw each other today in this office...
...did you already know that you had to kill me?
- Who cares? I didn't. - Answer the question, Cassie!
You're name's Cassie?
Shut up, Chariot. I need to know, did they give you a photo?
- Do you really need to know? - Yes.
Yes! I knew I was gonna kill you.
I saw your picture and I knew I was gonna kill you! Let me go!
Fuck. That's some heavy shit, huh? Honeymoon's over.
- What about the bomb? - I didn't see that coming.
Good work.
I signed my death warrant when I decided to hack up Hierophant...
...so do you think you can take that as an apology and move on?
- Okay. - Okay.
Interested in this?
Okay.
Forty-four minutes.
Forty-four minutes, 39 seconds.
Thirty-eight, 37, 36. Is this helping?
- Shut up. - Thirty-five.
Fool is Eric Alan Gaines...
...born in New York, November 3rd, 1976, of British parents.
Dual citizenship in the U.K.
I thought he was hiding an accent. You can tell.
Dual citizenship?
The Factory would never hire somebody with dual citizenship.
Well, they'd never do a lot of things they're doing today.
I am not going to get into the vent.
- Someone went in, probably Hermit. - Goddamn it!
If there's an exit, or a way out, he found it. Find it.
- Fuck! - Go ahead. Go ahead.
- Goddamn it. - I'm gonna do a body count.
Hey. Listen, why don't we just go find a fucking way out of here.
Everybody's gonna die anyway. Let's go!
Did your mother shit in your frontal lobe?
- If an Omega survives and we get out... - What does that mean?
...Corporate will kill us by nightfall.
Get in the vent. Go. Disappear.
What's the time? What's the time?
You have 38 fucking minutes.
- Great. Thank you. - You're still not gone.
I can't believe you're not fucking gone.
- Goddamn it. - Now you're gone.
You are so fucking gone.
Hey!
What the fuck's going on?
The fuck was that?
Letters to numbers.
- What? - Heaven.
Heaven. Heaven. Heaven equals 8, 5, 1, 22, 5, and...
Five and 14.
Go make a sweep of the main floor. Find out where that noise came from.
- Go. Now! Come on! - Jesus.
Kids. No respect for authority.
I was in Beirut, motherfucker.
"Neverhints."
You think this might be the deactivation code?
I don't know. My life's a wreck.
So tired of this job.
So tired.
My name is Tony.
I'm from Reading, Pennsylvania.
Was my high school valedictorian.
And I'm an Eagle Scout.
And now, how...?
How am I supposed to have a relationship?
Supposed to be anonymous.
Hi, nice to meet you. I'm the Chariot.
That's why I go to strip clubs.
And I don't care if I die today.
- It's okay. - Don't you fucking touch me, Fool.
Don't you fucking...
And I'm back.
Temperance? My angel.
Where have you been?
It's getting closer.
Neverhints.
- Want me to enter the code? - Shut up.
- How many tries do I get? - Shut up.
- What the fuck do you want me to do? - Enter the fucking code.
- What if it's wrong? - The code.
- What if it's wrong? - Shut up.
Okay, fuck.
Hey, give me that can.
Give me that can. Right there. Right there.
Neverhints. Neverhints.
It's the same type font as the safe.
Heaven, neverhints. Heaven never hints.
It makes sense, right?
Because he's the Devil, heaven never hints.
Fuck it, I'm just gonna do it.
It's not my fault. It's my first day.
- They're all dead. - Really?
Mind telling me where the bodies are?
The fuck was that? What happened?
I don't know. I just put in the fucking code. I didn't do anything.
What was that?
- There's the Magician. - Where?
In an air vent over the bullpen.
You smell that?
Hey, we need to go now.
What the fuck is going on?
Fool still alive?
As far as we can tell.
Has anyone been in Devil's safe?
I don't know. It's hard to see what's going on in there. It's too dark.
Show me everything in the last 20 minutes.
Okay.
Temperance? Temperance, baby?
- Temperance, where are you? - Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Rumour has it Empress fucked Dick Cheney...
...at a Halliburton retreat back in '96.
Stop saying "ew."
Hell is everything beyond these walls.
I think she's suffering from post-menopausal madness.
You can put on makeup, but you can't hide crazy.
Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward.
All of the data's being destroyed. There's nothing else we can do.
Those of us who manage public dollars will be held to account...
I don't care what you say. Fire me if you want, I'm having a drink.
It's in a big, black tool box.
Got it.
Hey. Look what Daddy found, kids.
Got it. Here. Everybody relax.
Come on, just focus. All right.
Oh, my God, I missed you.
- So we're right here. - Right, the storeroom.
- What's this door? - Where?
- In the cooler. See that? - I don't know.
- Well, this says it's a door. - Where does it lead?
- Doesn't say. - Is that an exit?
- No. - What the fuck was that?
What was that?
- Guys, you hear that? - No, hear what?
- Someone's there. - No one's here.
They'd have to come through that door.
- Get your shit together. - Shut up. There's something there.
Here. Give me that.
- Shit! - Fuck!
Where the fuck did he go?
Screw it. Come on, let's go.
- How much time we have? - About 19 minutes. Let's go.
Give me my fucking flask.
- Dust ourselves off and begin again.
The fuck you looking at?
These photographs I found in the safe...
Jesus!
It's fucking Safe House. Reason we're in this mess.
What was Safe House?
A mission that got fucked because of an outside hire.
Guy tripped the wires cracking a safe, long story short, my best man's dead.
Only solace is I chased him down a street at 4 a. M...
...shot him two inches above his fucking heart.
Fucker's lucky I started drinking again.
What?
- Nothing. Come on, let's... - Wait.
Fuck!
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Get the fuck off.
You're the outside hire. You?
You're the reason we're in this fucking mess right now!
That's why today was your first day. Because they wanted...
- I can explain. - No, Chariot!
- No! - Let him go!
No! No! No! He fucked that mission and not me.
- Not Omega. - The detonators were faulty.
Bullshit! Bullshit! You did it on purpose! You set it up!
The fuck I did. It was supposed to be a simple crack job.
Will you fucking drop it, you two? Who cares?
I care! I fucking care!
My best fucking man died because of him! I care!
And he fucking killed Strength. You killed Strength!
Chariot, let him go. Drop the weapon.
- No! - I said, drop the fucking weapon!
Do not sidestep your responsibility!
Three...
...two, one! I'm gonna fucking kill you!
- Okay! Fuck! - Jesus.
Who hired you?
Who fucking hired you?!
Oh, shit!
Get up. Let's go.
Go! Go! He's coming! Go!
Get to the water cooler room! There's a door. I'll fight him.
- What the fuck are you doing? - Go! Now!
Bring it on, you short bearded faggot.
You know, that really hurts my feeling when you say stuff like that.
Okay, what am I looking for?
Well, well. Someone's entered the cooler room.
Are you looking for something, baby?
I don't think so.
Shit.
- What stake do you have in this? - Oh, God, Temperance.
Does everything have to be open for discussion?
Why are you siding with Alpha?
I don't feel well. I have a headache. I feel woozy.
I've got a nervous stomach.
And my IBS is kicking in, and it's gonna look bad in this suit...
...so can we discuss this later?
Later? What do you mean, later? There is no later!
Yeah, I'd rather do things without...
I'd rather do things without yelling.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Okay, here we go.
You know, l... This is why I don't do teams.
I don't have good people skills. I don't want... Why do we have to talk?
Why do we have to talk all the time?
I don't have people skills!
You think it's easy to look like a bearded tampon?
I don't wanna do this!
You keep your mouth shut! It's always about talking!
What are you, Sally Jessy Raphael?
I'm sorry. Did I give you a fright?
Honestly, I didn't mean to.
I mean, I do understand how you might be a little jumpy...
...in light of the circumstances.
What circumstance?
Well, it's your first day. You've witnessed a lot of blood.
And now you've got like, what? You got 10 minutes left.
You're searching for safe haven and now I show up...
...with the pretty clear intention of squandering any and all hope...
...by beating you to death with a flaming putter.
Chin up.
That's what they used to say to me at fat camp.
But you know what that counsellor would say?
He'd say, "Get your chins up."
Get your chin up.
It's just...
Pert Plus.
We could've been... We could've been buddies.
We could've been buddies!
Open...
...your mouth!
You want me to open my mouth?
I gotta put some lipstick on first.
What colour is it?
Guess.
Is it red?
Well, then, what colour is it?
The colour of your dick...
...after this bullet goes in you.
Goddamn it!
Not again.
Oh, my darling, I'm so afraid I will never live to see your face.
Be still, my dear Satan.
There must a way out of your dungeon.
We can find a way out together.
No. There is no escaping this place.
Oh, my penis. My penis. My penis.
- Where's the exit? - You shot me in the shaft!
- Where is it? - I don't know!
Don't bullshit me! I know you know where the exit is.
You would've never been as cool as you were. Where is it?!
I don't know.
Oh, God! Jesus, Temperance!
Where 's the exit door, Hermit?
It's... It's... It's...
It's on a button. A button.
Yeah? Where's the button, Hermit?
Under the water cooler, Temperance.
- You need to listen to me. - I am so not listening to you, Fool.
You have no idea how to get out of here.
So I may as well spend the next four and a half minutes...
...staring into your dreamy blue eyes while I watch you die.
Makes sense, no?
Look! Under the water cooler!
You must trust me, Satan.
Only one of us is gonna make it out alive.
Well, I sure hope the afterlife lives up to your standards.
Shit.
This is so distressing.
We have a connection. You look up to me, sweetie.
Why the fuck would I look up to a vile cunt like you?
Horribly offensive thing to say to another woman.
No shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Confess your sins to me.
Heaven never hints. Heaven never hints.
Shit.
Come on!
I will lead us to paradise.
I've extracted the entire audio file that caused the shutdown.
More phone sex?
It's a voice mail the Devil left just before he was killed. 9:46 a.m.
If you are listening to this recording, it is in all likelihood that I am dead.
Project Endgame has been executed and Barack Obama has taken office...
...as the 44th president of our glorious nation.
It is regrettable the dedicated men and women of the Factory...
...had to burden this charade.
Hopefully the salvation of these files...
...will expose all our misdeeds to the light of day...
...and begin the healing process towards...
...restoring the clandestine services to their full glory.
Onward and upward we go...
...and farewell, my beloved Susan.
"My beloved Susan"?
It was you. You were having phone sex with the Devil.
We were lovers...
...of a new age.
An age of technology and wonder.
An age of sexual freedom and tolerance.
And advanced middle age.
Yeah.
The intimacy of two lovers...
...can be whispered across the soft fibre-optic channels of the heart.
This is our moral reparation.
You brought the Fool here to retrieve the files before they're all destroyed.
What's on the disc, Susan?
It's a greatest-hits package.
Everything they don't want the new administration to know about.
Yes?
Susan, it's me.
Do you have the disc?
Yes. Every single one of their fuckups right here.
There's a cab waiting for you on Figueroa...
...and a first-class ticket at the airport.
Good luck. And Godspeed.
We are shaped by every language and culture...
I'm sorry, Carl.
No!
- And more united, we cannot help but believe...
...that the old hatreds shall someday pass...
...that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve...
...that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself...
...and America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
Hey. Hey, Corporate.
How are you?
I wanted to say thank you for the Christmas card...
...and for the bottle of wine. So nice.
This is Emperor. Someone initiated Project Endgame...
...so if this line is working it won't be for long.
In life, I haven't been too big on personal relationships...
...but I do have some business to attend to.
So just a... Just a quick note.
I'm gonna come back from the dead...
...and I'm gonna... I'm gonna eat your fucking hearts.
To the widows of the men I murdered, I leave my entire wine collection.
One bottle of Lafite, 1802.
Ladies, you'll just have to split that.
I'm gonna find you, and I'm gonna corral you together...
...and, one by one...
...I'm going to slowly eat your hearts throughout eternity.
To my dog in Belgium, I leave my chalet in Gdansk.
And then I'm gonna haunt your families.
I'm gonna haunt your families.
And I'm not talking about just like a, "Boo."
I'm gonna be a really fucking creepy ghost.
I'm gonna be a real evil bastard.
And I can't wait, actually.
I wish there was more... I wish there was less time for the bomb to go off.
I can't wait.
Well, that...
Someone please return all the books I checked out of the library in Iran.
I don't want them coming after me.
THE END Subtitles by: